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Welcome Here Gentlemen and Ladies, Welcome to the Showdown, The Big Match, The Big Fight,

Here we have for your reading pleasure, The Long awaited and Wholly unknown Haiku (Denial) poem battle between

Quite some time ago, Me and a very good friend of mine, Brother Kamal had a random oft-inspired 'jam session' of poetry, just for fun, Though this is the entirety of it, know that it's STILL growing, So Feel free to check back ANYTIME You wish.. for now though..

:iconthorin111: :iconversusplz: :iconkamal-q:



Here's the Conversation Thread…
  • Listening to: MY HAEART
  • Reading: Poetry
  • Watching: MY HEURGHT
  • Playing: MY HEURTHGHT
  • Eating: MY HEURGh- wait
  • Drinking: 7-Up
How so very undeniably Quaint, It would seem another BirthYear (to quote a shaykh; supposedly a quarter to a century on my behalf) has come and gone on my behalf, and hopefully hoping here's to another set of those wonderful years, tucked and settled amidst a culinary feast of Emotional experiences and doting memorabilia.

So what have I been doing as of late, Dear Journal? Well, then perhaps it is time i have decided to share a little bit more.. At least much more than the jolly perspective the last journal round' hah!

So where to begin?

Ah, So our story begins a wonderful jolly good stretch of moons before, Prior to the fasting month, what a joy. The seasonal equivalence to our very own as to other noteworthy holidays to all others of their own creeds and credentials. It was a beautiful start to the blessed month, the night had just begun, the moon having outgrown the then futile cradle of the lunar cycle into the bright-shining eye it had always been, full of light, full of life, like a window of the heavens peering down cloaked in weaving threads of cloud and capes of twinkling stars. As if this very phenomenon was responsible, it was nonetheless a sideworthy sign to the ebbing and increasing sense of safety and security that has suddenly dawned (or in this case, dusked) upon the not so very sleepy town of Kuala Lumpur, like stars having fallen to the earth, homes and houses with windows abright and as if fueled by hard work and the sounds of endless chatter, believers of all prepare themselves for the upcoming month and it's pre-requisites, everyone preparing themselves mentally or physically rather, as they race to meet and enjoin with each other, feasting at their usuals or unusual rarities, savoring the meal before the next day declares and requires abstinence and self-restraint.

But think not these words harsh or hard nor cold, dear journal. Much rather, and not unlike it's predecessors, this year's ramadan was just as boldly riddled with magnanimous forms of gratitude and respite. Brothers and sisters of all, seeking solace in themselves 'from themselves', the many vices and vicegerents to their occults of shame having disappeared and instead replaced with a form of genuine empathy.

and perhaps sanity in some case. (hoho)

but i digress, Dear journal. This season's ramadan was a grand one, but although, like all of it's predecessors and i feel the same will go on until the very end, it is a season only celebrated in memory, like as if seeing to believe through the spectrum of a dream. Just like yesterday as if, it feels it just begun, yet earlier, it felt as if it had already ended.

It was a joyous time, and one of determined reluctance and esteemed sacrifice. but with sacrifice often comes a prestigious reward, in this case. it would seem an increase shift to thinking power. That's right, dear journal. Your Friend, Imran here actually got 'smarter' even if for a while. It would seem the fasting month brings upon a sharper sense of awareness, even proficiency. You'd feel like the good old days, when as a child you claimed you had two engines working in your brain. Good fun that..

Ah.. What else?.. (To Be continued)
  • Listening to: Disco! Techno! Funk! SOUL! I GOT THE BEAT FEET
  • Reading: FanFics, MY HEURGHT
  • Watching: MY HEURGHT
  • Drinking: GLORIOUS DRINK
For All My muslims brothers and sisters,
If you think about it, The blessed steed that has hailed and sent the beloved Messenger (s.a.w.), is a Horse-like animal with wings, A human face (some say otherwise, but it's a very beautiful face eitherway), long ears and it had the ability to place it's hooves at the furthest boundary of it's gaze.

And theoretically, it's a pegasus'

:iconrainbowdashieplz: Oh my'
  • Listening to: Electrical Impulses assailing my mind
  • Reading: Between the Lines
  • Watching: An animated shows about equus' with my baby-s
  • Playing: Games with said baby-sister
  • Eating: Oxygen
  • Drinking: YOUR TEARS
Whirling, dancing, Laughing, they know'

winds that blow to caress the wanderer,
Winds that blow to beckon him home,

Come close,
Dear sweet angels
Come Close,
come closer to hear,

come close,
Oh my Little Angels,
Come Close,
Let me whisper in your ear,

Let me whisper of about the atoms in all the worlds,
in their dance of madness ,
all reveling in their euphoric and drunken cheer,

insane, are the atoms, in their endless circles
just as insane, perhaps are the men'
who whirl and spin and dance,
just like the atoms, never seeking to end

they are but looking for that which isn't there,
woe be to this malicious spectator,
tragic is their cynical pride,
they are like that of those who shield their eyes,
and say, 'the sun!,oh calamity, she has died!'

tarry not on these sad feelings, dearest friend,
tarry not, nor do not berate
the gathering of liberated souls is forever starting
you're either early or never,
But never late
Ladies and gentlemen,

Hello and goodbye again,

My internet is down.. still is'

I've been doing nothing much really,

perhaps except doing what i always do, but with the addition of helping my mother move house and mourning.

Yes, The Beloved Prince and our very own 'Home-turf shaykh', Shaykh Raja has'..

well, fill in the blanks i suppose'.

i miss you guys, i am quite so very lonely,

and to share the anguish doesn't help indefinitely,

well'.. but we'll see, perhaps assuming after i serve my 'quota' of military standarism, and.. inshallah who knows what else,

perhaps i'll be finally able to spend time with you chaps again, regardless of'.. i hope, how out of place i am
Greetings and peace be to all,
Salutations, dearest friends.

I have just decided to join the masses, to be precise, to join the 'tumblr' rage, but honestly i like blogs more than social websites, but though i may tarry here or there, i will still be here..or there'.. depends, i suppose.

In due thanks and honor of a conversation i had with one of thine (but never less) friends, namely :iconkamal-q: (don't let the name fool you, the man has a heart of gold), i have dedicated the URL of the Tumblr to said conversation;

Indeed where the sufi's tumbl',

So by all means, perhaps you amongst you have a tumblr acc? it would be nice to have some familiar faces around whilst i traverse this new land,

Come, Come,
Uncle Ali Bids you welcome
Greetings,salutations and salaam, my friends and fellow peers,

Fore-where-art-thou o' silver-flown-flock?
To what foreign far shore hast thou taken wing?
You, who are embodiment in everything,

You, Who have brought me the sweetest of pleasures,
the finest of memories,
the joy, of a thousand occasions

You.. who befittingly..
have brought me this greatest sorrow,
with your departure,
oh friend..

you enraptured me to a frozen state,
like as juliet peered down to her romeo'..
but at last, alas..
should i have known?

we all fade merely as props to a tragic end,
befitting a tale of woe and calamity
the gaze.. was that of the hunter,
and his prey.

servant and served,
Ruler and ruled,
pawn and king.

such is the end,
never  such a tale, ever of such woe,
like that of dear juliet,
and her beloved romeo'.

i am tired, i am weak..
let me sleep,
let me rest,

a hundred years may pass,
a thousand more,
Let me rest', let me rest'

A lover comes,
A lover comes,
A lover is coming,
He is coming for me,

Tell him to leave me,
Tell him to leave,
Tell him, i do not want him

But oh starry-eyed traveller,
Who are you?
Know your place,
Your lover has come,
He has come

Romeo and juliet,
the tragic pair,
never died after all,
living therein,
in gardens ever after,

The lover comes,
he comes, he comes,
does he know what's a heart?
Come, let us show him one,
Let me best him in this duel of eternity,
let the blood spilt lay claim,
blessing this land in glory..

How Wrong,
How Wrong,
We fight forever claiming false virtues,
when in truth we fight for pain,
the pain that has caused the demise of thousands,
for the beloved.. the loved,
whom we thought was the beauty and fragrance of the garden,
or even the purity and spirit of a river,

rather'.. the beloved,
he is the breeze that caresses all of us,
the hidden relief that we fail to fathom,

the hidden truth'..
has flown away,
and only in our arms of our beloved,
only in the arms of our mother, the earth,
Only in the love of our beloved..

My friend, you who have come a thousand steps,
You who caused me the greatest grief,
and the sweetest triumph,
You have came back,
different then last i saw you'..

ah yes, it is because i am done resting my mortal shell,
I am now resting my spirit,
in contemplation
of my love for you,
in contemplation,
as the essence of the garden.
Tumblr?.. should i get it?.. i do so feel quite so..alone
Hail ladies and gents, salaam and ahoy thar'

So' believe it or not, Your old Pal, Imran here for once in his life got out of the house and went to go to do something "outside", i know, i'm still shivering from excitement too! (or anxiety, i get terribly nervous when i'm surrounded by lots of'.. interesting people)

interesting people? surrounded? calustrophobic and the title-card of comically festive? What could this mean?
Oh yes, I do declare, yesterday, approximately, from departure from the home at 11:30, 18/12 (december)/2011,  I, Mohammad Ali Imran has gone to thine very first convention, as said, a Comically festive one, or easier said,

"Comic fiesta", the sweet, sweeping sensation of the the entire nation, (or at least within the duly noted ratio radius of Kuala Lumpur)

I vent with a good friend of mine, to traverse and explore this strange custom and trial of festivity, and to thine surprise, you see people of all sorts, and most importantly to state, Cosplayers'! my word, definitely, for once in my life, i'm at a place where costumes are law, how so very exhilarating, but though in my humble robes of naqshbandi clothing, i think it would've suffice, a fact  my friend jokingly speculated saying, "you going as some sorta old' wise man or sage or something"? or better yet, there were people who cosplay'ed as "police" and military efforts, Namely a riot policeman and a soldier, so my status of sage went down to "prime suspect", oh my

But though, despite cramped and tightly squeezed against the shoulders of my companion or my girth to the bodice of another, or easier said, living out dead rising's "jog pass zombies" or Assassin's creed "gentle push", we waded our way to our first ever concern, A shop on the map called "Candy shop", By god, candy sounded good, but alas.. there was no candy, just one of those "shops".. but still, no lamentation, i have gained an ultimate reward in exchange for simple pleasures, i purveyed and bought myself a Super Mario hat, delightful thing, now just to get some gloves and a red sweater and some overalls.

and then we went to see alll the delightful booths, oh my, all the expert professionals, draughtsmen,sketchers, comic book artists, commissioners and artists alike, colors both vibrant as they are complexly savory. thousands by the thousands, sketching away delicate lines on paper with pen or pencil, and the shrill sound of foreign languages sounding off in the distance. what form'

i won't say too much, as the event itself though dear, was not something i could explain much, though although, we saw national artists, the premier of "dota 2" and even a cosplay competition, what good-er form.

also i met another old friend, and my friend's friend, at the con, and a cheeky little badge that says, "I see tall people"..
a raised eyebrow and a direct question to the lady in charge of the booth was initiated, "is this referring to me?" (hoo hoo, 6ft 2 or more har har)

but so, we got to meet the creative side of a country i love dear, my home and hearth. But if there is one lament i remorse dearly from attending that con.. make that two, one, i didn't get to buy the artbook.. or any art for that matter, (save for a quick sketch of me doing a poker face, nothing special) , and two'.. well'.. if you're going to a con, do your leg exercises and stretching, your legs turn to deadweights by the end of the day.. walkingwalking walking'

well, but that's it i suppose, perhaps next time by december again, i'll be more free and perhaps even go in a costume myself, i heard the police cosplayers could use more fundamental extremists, or even a chunky and mushroom infused mario'
[December 8th' 2011]

Recieved additional news about My dear pet, She was being subjected to a "minor" case of maggots, they were mainly stationed around the rear end of her body, Some of us speculated perhaps it was due to since she didn't really clean herself there anymore due to inability or because of all the fur, Either way'..

We were promised good news, saying that the problem could be dealt with, the good doctor asking only on our part to wait for three days and perhaps a few more for surveillance of her condition, A plan.. And a comforting one at that, a consolation to the stray thought of sympathy of how it must be,
With my own hands and that of my brothers, we gave her away in a box to the vet, a cleaning cloth doubling as a blanket to keep her warm from her incident in the waters..

The next day'..

December 9th' 2011, Current time, 4:40 PM

It was all fated to end in three days, a small price to pay for a full recovery..  To our surprise, The pain and suffering went away much more earlier than that'..

but with it'.. Her life'.

[9th December, 2011, 12:45 PM, (right before Friday prayers)

2001 - 2011, (10 years)

We gave a cat in a box'.. We recieved the next day, A body bag..

She was buried in the same plot of land where another pet, a cat as well, was lain to rest many many years ago.
We gently lifted her out of the bag, with protective plastic gloves we slowly made our way to wrap her in newspaper, had we could spare it, we would have buried her in a sarong instead. But we were pressed for time, as the calls for prayer neared ever closer'

perhaps it was not just the death that was tragic, but also a.. moment.. Baboushka's Daughter, "socks" as we affectionately called her, came about before we buried her mother, as she laid inside that cardboard box, Socks went and sniffed the box, and proceeded to press herself against it, the same gesture she had always done to her mother, when she was still alive'.

As the hole in the ground was eventually filled and covered, Socks laid over nearby, looking vigil over the grave, we knew she was sad.. a fact, duly noted by a good friend present during the ceremony who said, "She's sad.. but as a cat, She doesn't know how to cry".

I will Miss that cat, as i have still missed the first to go, Now i only have one left.. but.. a coincidence if you may,

Baboushka passed away on a friday, the same day of the week, my beloved grandmother, "mama" passed away and was buried as well.

Two loving mothers, Both gone into hiding until we too are to play our parts and make our way over, as well'.
Right so i'm back,

Fun time, good times, beautiful food, scenery, beach,sand,sun,sunburn and beautiful people'


Thanks alot for the warm wishes chaos and wyvern, My two friends who i am not disappointed with'..

So tell me, how has your life been going? and hey i'm not dead, alhamdulillah
  • Playing: Runescape
1 - You must post these rules (VERY Important )
2 - Each person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
3 - Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create ten new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4 - You have to choose 10 people to tag and post them on your journal.
5 - Go to their pages and tell them you have tagged her/him.
6 - No tag backs
7 - No crap silly shenanigans in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you're reading this." You legitimately (AKA, really, truly with all honesty) have to tag 10 people.

~Tagged by Miss :iconsarkyfancypants:
10 things about myself?.. eh lesse.. This journal's a mess!

-When i Write or speak, i tend to often speak in accents or cryptically in riddles.

- I used to suffer from Coulrophobia (fear of clowns), Not anymore though, managed to cure it by being afraid of something even worse'.. oh dear..

-I talk to myself, But mostly to practice my charisma, Lookin'good'
Or to tell a joke to myself..Nobody understands mine very much..they think i'm serious' or i say quotes.. i love quotes

- I suppose one way to gain my dismay and fretful fury would be to interrupt me while i'm talking or to "INTENTIONALLY Divert your attention to something else blatantly while i'm talking to you, you know.. like suddenly talk to another person or walk away.."
happened before'.. happens' now..can't ever get used to it i suppose.. i think i get more sad than angry these days'..

-I am renowned amongst my relatives for being a "gentle giant"(big size for my race of people, so to say eh.. 6 ft tall)," a scholar","a Lovable Teddy/Gummy bear", The latter most title attributed to how huggable i am, i'm a wonderful uncle!

-I'm not as old as some people think i am, but i'm definitely not as young either'

- I don't swear.. But I do tend to compromise.. like.. fiddlesticks
Please stop swearing you guise'.. it's tragic

- Sometimes i question myself,myself at tmes.. I'm so unlike my brothers.. people telling me how "different" i am, some people sometimes either don't or can't believe that i am related to my brothers. Not that it's a bad thing, it's A-okay in my book'

- I'm quite good at being a "background" kind of person, People don't notice me as much, i blend in swell'

- I tell people to not be ashamed of their fan-appreciations but while i too actually eh.. are quite bashful of mine.. oh dear'..

And verily the newcomer Challenged me to a trial of wit and personal divulge,And i did say.. :iconokayplz:

1. First of all, why do you watch me?

Well.. let's see here', For one at first blush, Trekking down memory lane, i believe I was trekking through miss Jenl's Works one day, and so happened i somehow found enrapture in the halls of you and yours, To say, I was dearly intrigued by your ideas and notion,interests and of course, your works', How the gears and cogs of your inner sanctum of brain matter twist and turn, ah delightful' Lobotomy'.

To be precise, and to confide, I appreciate good work where it is found, and i found it, oh yes'.

"And that a man did doth giveth' the gift of watcthing to his fellow (wo)Man, And he found..
That it was good"

2. What do you think about my art?

Whimsical and fun', The style itself has dearly Sky-rocketed into the next level generation of skill (ah'.. old styles'.. that makes me sigh with nostalgia too, wonderful) But vot can be said eh? You' funny,You Clever, You Smart and also very Handy with your "Imagineering" skill', You haff' LOADS of potential, truly god has blessed you with a wonderful set of talents, Wonderful

And if i may.. i would like to relay two pieces of advice two people have told me.. well.. One person, other..not so much'

A friend told me.. Don't stop drawing, Don't forget.. trust me, because in the future.. if you forget.. you will regret it',

Albert Einstein once said, "Imagination is more important than logic", so start jazzing up with your Brain sanctums, there's Funtimes to be had.

3. Any movies you like the most?

"THE MESSAGE", Also Epic story types, Action,Comedy and Perhaps a little bit of Mystery, Horror.. eh.. like Zombie movies, OKAY' but eh.. i'm actually terrible coward, eh.. not so much bite yus?

4. Fandoms you are into?

Hrm'.. lesse.. Stoof like'.. Ah'heh'.. Well Video games' (cough, TF2 cough) History (We call them "fondly regarded memories")

What? something modern or spiffy easy to relate to?

Homestuck:iconimblushingplz: Aren't i such a cheeky chap?

Ahem.. yes'..

5. Do you have an obsession for a certain something? Object, style, anything?

I"m quite obsessed with video games,Stories, And poetry from the magnificent Rumi, would you like to read some of his works?… it.. do it.. do it.. Do It.. Do It.. DO IT.. DO IT

I'm also a stickler for religion and those old timey good ol'notions, Strength through Unity, Unity through faith!

ahem.. i suppose i also love to "conceptualize", to make concepts and ideals.. planning and panning out options, so fun'
As for styles.. I suppose i always did like to try and COPY OFF EVERYTHING IN EXISTANCE, oh yes' Why have one style when you can have 2? 3?.. 7?

6. What kind of music do you like?

I'm the kind of man that appreciates the idea of "if it sounds nice, it is good", but though with that saying,

-I personally find great joy in classicals,symphonies,Operas (Luciano Pavarotti, We dearly loved you well)

-Be it Classic rock (old rock bands included to be concise, eh'.. Elvis,Dragonforce,Brocas Helm)

-blues/soul and jazz (Reference: Search Youtube for Bioshock or Fallout soundtracks)

-Soundtracks (Oh hey, videogames, movies, and even the ones YOU made Miss Sarkanand, Wonderful stuff)

-Any Modern present day music would have to be eh'.. well.. I can't really agree with music of the NOW generation,the stuff's kinda too LEWD or.. intimidating'.. but stuff like "Show goes on" would be a fine exception, Very good i say', and to be clear.. it's the lyrics of today's songs that throw me off.. curse you vile desires!

7. "Let me tell you.... about Homestuck...."
Please'.. Do tell.. :iconproceedplz:

8. Do you have OCs? Who's your favourite?

In all my years of panning and shifting my thoughts, my braina and the inner sanctums of my memory vault, I have quite a number of
"oc's", all stemming from years of conceptions and Influences, Just like a Barrel of wine.. time makes everything better',
Favourite? But they're all mine, of course they're ALL my favorites, hehehehe' but a prominent one would have to be a character named , "Amron"

9. Any nostalgic memories that make you sigh when you remember them?

Oh yes, Past video games.. The glorious reich of the PlayStationus 1,
And.. ah yes.. Love', In a Word? Cyprus, and it's loving Folks.

10. Write the last words/things you have heard while answering this questions. (from a conversation, a song, even the sound of anything that might be around you)

WARGGHHGWARRGGHHWARRGGGHHH-Unnnhhhhhhhhhh (sound of my Tiny But mighty,"technically unfortunately redundant" desktop CPU)

~Yes i got heartaches by the number, a love i can't win, but the day that i stop counting is the day my world will end~

The Questions'.. alright..

- I Wish to be a better person, Please tell me, is there anything of me that i should change or adapt? Have i ever treated you badly?

- Do you have any characters? oc's?.. have you ever had an imaginary friend?..

- Have you ever seen or had any moments which made you utterly thankful for life?

-Answer the question: What color is an orange? [True/False] heehee hoohoo haahaa

-Be honest now, Miss Sarkanand made me answer it, now you do it,
Do you have any INTERESTS that others would consider Childish or silly? my apologies, this must be VERY personal.. eh.. if you don't want to answer it.. okay'..

-What is your concept of Beauty?
(for males) what would you like in a woman?
(for females) what would you like in a man?

- Tell me.. how much do you love your family?

-Do you have any personal philosophies you follow or try to teach others?

-Do you believe in Honor?

-What do you think about beards? They're great right?

Now to tag'? eh?.. alright lesse.. taggingk'.. taggingk'..taggingk'..

Tagging'.. Tag'er'rooo

I'm afraid.. these poor souls are to be.. "tagged", take them away

oh dear..this is hard'..

-:iconretromissile:  (ah-hohoho, i know she won't do this, Instant Cheatcode for me, I'm sorry miss Cami')

Ah..Now if only one could have more acquaintances or friends, eitherway.. i suppose this lil'ol game will just fall into memories instantly, Time for a good laugh everyone'
  • Listening to: A series of good ol'classics
  • Eating: Hummus and cheese
Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses the song/artist correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game, post your own.
**Step 6: You must know the TITLE and ARTIST of the song! But if you just know one and want to give it a try, go ahead.**
Step 7: Please let me know which number you think the song and artist is, otherwise you LOSE

1-Somos novios Pues los dos sentimos mutuo amor profundo Y con eso ya ganamos lo más grande De este mundo

2-There was a time, I was everything and nothing all in one, when you found me, i was feeling like a cloud across the sun

3-Burning fires, Burning lives, on the long distant roads, through the lost mountains endless so far away from home.

4-Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? Where's the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds?

5- Besame, Besame Mucho, como si fuera esta noche la ultima vez

6- Come stop your crying it will be all right, just take my hand, hold it tight

7-I get such a thrill,When you look in my eyes,My heart skips a beat, girl,I feel so alive,Please tell me baby,If all this is true,'Cause deep down inside,All I wanted was you

8-I'm gonna do all the thing for you , A girl wants a man to do, Oh, baby,I'll sacrifice for you ,I'll even do wrong for you ,Oh, baby

9- Sinto quando alguém te interessa

10 -Šutka i Topaana imaat edna manaŠto ne se vo IndijaZa da vidi Krišna što e toa životNa vesela dolina

11-If you're askin' me to say, Livin' life without you, girl, is alright, If you really want to know, I'd have to say it's dangerous to my mind

12-Outside the rain begins and it may never end,So cry no more on the shore

13-Someone told me long ago, there's a calm before the storm, i know, it's been comin for some time

14-Some day, when I'm awfully low, When the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you...  And the way you look tonight.

15-I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, Watch you smile while you are sleeping, Far away and dreaming, I could spend my life in this sweet surrender, I could stay lost in this moment forever, Well, every moment spent with you, Is a moment I treasure

16- The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair, now,
And wondering what dress to wear, now,
I say a little prayer for you

17-Oh, the power to be strong
And the wisdom to be wise
All these things will
Come to you in time

18-To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him didn't have too much to say
No one dared to ask his business no one dared to make a slip
for the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

19-Mawlaya Salli Wassalim da-Iman Abadan Ala Habi Bika Khairil Khalqi Kulli'mi
Mawlaya Salli Wassalim da-Iman Abadan Ala Habi Bika Khairil Khalqi Kulli'mi

20-Ya no estas mas a mi lado corazon
En el alma solo tengo soledad
Y si ya no puedo verte
Porque Dios me hizo quererte
Para hacerme sufrir mas

21-I dream of rain, I dream of gardens in the desert sand, I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

22- Your love's never been better
So good it's a sin
But it's time for a decision
Is it me or him?

23-Tamally maak
We law hata ba eed any,
Fe alby hawak.

24- Wise men say, Only fools rush in

25- (ah well, might as well end this with a bang, ALL THE LYRICS, ALL OF IT)

Recitar! Mentre preso dal delirio,
non so più quel che dico,
e quel che faccio!
Eppur è d'uopo, sforzati! Bah! sei tu forse un uom? Tu se' Pagliaccio!
Vesti la giubba,
e la faccia in farina.
La gente paga, e rider vuole qua.
E se Arlecchin t'invola Colombina,
ridi, Pagliaccio, e ognun applaudirà!
Tramuta in lazzi lo spasmo ed il pianto;
in una smorfia il singhiozzo il dolor, Ah!
Ridi, Pagliaccio,
sul tuo amore infranto!
Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
Hello and salutations, my friends and those opting to willingly read this,

Once again, i perform the ritualistic ONLY trace of activity i seem to be doing these days, journal making..

now on with the journal making,

A friendless birthday

Thy birthday has passed, and i thank everyone's kind wishes for the occasion, here on my side, nothing of the sort of extreme or i betcha as fun as.. some here.. you know yourselves, in fact, just a simple dinner with the family and the addition of invited friends.

Now.. well.. it would have been a fine addition indeed.. assuming it was fulfilled.

I am nonetheless pleased that at least i still have mu family with me, and you of course, though.. across the screen..not a problem, you're still wonderful.
And my dear mother, god bless her, she just revealed to me this DELIGHTFUL video, now.. it's a muslim video about when we slaughter animals, but there's no blood or gore, in fact we're just revealing one of the wonderful processes, well.. i'm not forcing you, especially my friends who are not of the same faith, but perhaps if you're curious and want to see something astonishing, i welcome you.

I apologize if this may conflict with what you know,believe.. perhaps you appreciate animals, perhaps you're a vegetarian. But if i could still say so, I guarantee you that we ARE respectful, VERY.. but if i am wrong, perhaps you've seen a bad example, i apologize.…

Well, nothing else to report, but PERHAPS MAYBE, i' might be going to a camp where i'll be trained in some.. military circles..

you know.. a time when the country EVER needs it's defenders, i'm off to the barracks.

But it's a MAYBE, PERHAPS.. either way, it's for the best

heard it'll take three months, i better get polishing my trigger finger
And so thus commences another wonderful session of re-igniting the fires of humility and humbleness.

To tread the way of a stranger, face his fears and his every waking suffering so as to be thankful for what we have.

Ramadan kareem'!
July 20th,

Woke up in morning, Went on computer,went downstairs to have breakfast,

mid-way meal, have phone-call.

Tok Yoh, or.. My grandfather has passed away.

It was like hearing the saddest joke, unbelievable and wild, and undeniably painful, you just wait there for the punchline.. but then you learn, there' is no punchline, and that wasn't a joke, it was a statement.

As i sit here sick and grieving, i take solace in the fact that both Mama and Tok yoh had lived fulfilling lives, that both had loved the other just as much and more. Both had lived through great hardships but no matter the cost, they pulled through, they suffered, they endured.. but in the end, they were happy in their love for each other,family tradition and religion.

It brings back happy memories, of when we used to host during Raya, a banquet, children and adults laughing, either running in circles or standing in them,joking amongst themselves. The breadwinner of the event would be to able to see everyone, the entire family and relatives, to meet the other over a plate of rice and beef curry stew.

But now.. those memories are gone.. the house on the hill that overlooked my childhood like a sentient guardian now stands as a mere relic of the happiness that has transpired. should it be spared of being taken down, and instead made into the dwelling of another or perhaps just left as it is.. No matter what happens, not all treasures come in gold and silver, this trove will never die.

It feels like as if.. i was in a circular room, everywhere i see is doors, leading to a happy memory, and the chance to re-live them and get even more, now that door is closed.. locked.. i can't open it, i can't use it anymore.. it's gone for good.. the only consolation..mere screenshots of my life.. memories.. nothing more..

but nothing so less..

Went to room, smelt so familiar, anti-septic and other medical appliances for dealing with..

Saw Bundled figure, wrapped and draped in a white snow colored drapery, he looked so peaceful, as if sleeping, relatives bunched in, kissed his forehead with a prayer,left red eyed and blurry.

Aunties and other female relatives, despite the obvious pain and toll, they still exert their optimistic words to the event, mostly in malay, but i recognized a major word..

"You'll be seeing Mama soon".

Walked around a bit, took a seat down behind a pillar, same spot i sat during Mama's farewell, father called me over, we read prayers until we were called again,

body was draped, Sweet smelling oils (attars and ouds) poured all over, his face was untouched however..
it was so calm, as if he was sleeping.

Was sick, so couldn't follow to the burial, went home, looked inside pocket.

It was the hospital form of body identification.. sweet memento..
Inshallah, thank you Tok yoh, you did all you could for the family, and though we may not have the same blood bond.. we have another that runs even deeper..

May Allah bless you,Tok yoh, perhaps inshallah when you awake, you will see mama there, and maybe  all of us too, so we can be whole family again.


??? - 2011

Name: Dato Haji Mohamed Ibrahim

Date of departure: 20/7/2011

Time: 11:38 AM
Rally the men

Malaysia, a land so called peaceful and lenient, optimistically innocent and also friendly to boot.

A land where a man's laughter is often the best way to judge him, A place where often both heritages of old and new clash together, not in a forceful conflictive manner, rather in a joint operation of fellowship.

War and invasion, the words themselves seemed so uncanny and so alien to some, you might as well fare better looking into a story book. Unfortunate of course, History is always often written and played out in blood and tears, both happy or sad. Either way, for the meek and new to the neighborhood, Be it the shop-a-holic or even the wayward vagabond, seeking rest and relaxation from the outer world of woe and mysterious misery.

But it seems that though invasion is a word only remembered in text books from the british to the japanese, though civil war.. that seems to be another matter all entirely. Ever since the great revolts in the arab lands, my fellow kinsmen and countrymen has taken upon themselves to right the wrong, which if i am correct, was related to the recent elections which was "plotted" and "phoney". Just yesterday (saturday 9 july,2011) was a seemingly exciting day, Reports blasted in, a whole river of people ,marched along. Whole streets had road blocks consisting of water-blaster trucks and armed riot policemen, never have i seen my people in such a state of emergency.

It was the oppression versus the government, "the people" VS "the man", but before we start thinking fireworks, It was all planned out to be a peaceful confrontation, violence was of course  unavoidable, but thankfully it wasn't as harsh as expected. In the end, it was suggested that they should do it in a stadium, where the common public wouldn't have to suffer. I suppose all and all, this isn't over yet, it is far from in fact, it has just started..

who am i with? they ask, that's easy.

The winner.

Good god, how horrifying

Computer.. graphics card obsolete.. how horrifying..

the truth about captain jack sparrow…
  • Listening to: Soundtracks
  • Reading: Nasruddin Hodja
Ah, greetings and peace be to all of you,

It has been..long has it not?

yes.. it has been, my friends..
oh how i wish i could look upon your fair faces in delight, but all i have is pixels and flashing letters.

What's new?
oh yes.. the flashing letters is much more better now, i have recently commissioned and obtained a desktop computer, in fact as i write to you now, that very same desktop is sighing at me..

It's staring me down.. me and my pitiful internet connection.. connection has slowed down..thankfully as life would have it.. My sister's husband to be (inshallah) has recommended we use Unifi, a wireless that will hopefully fare better than this.. this..

if this wireless works.. why.. internet video games and Playstation 3 dreams all day long.. I also got Photoshop..I am very happy, but i will never forget Muro and the kindness of a certain "hawk".

Digging with a kitchen knife
Me and my Brother had to perform a cheap funeral service recently.. he dug the hole using a kitchen knife, i was holding the deceased in newspaper.. it was a quick operation, dead of night, get the body out from the cage, wrap it up in newspaper,carry it to the patch of green just beside the house, dig a hole and bury  the body.. what was left of it that is.. it was so torn up.. guts and red.. you think the plastic gloves would help.. but you can feel it past the flimsy protective sheet,you can feel it all.. who'd have thought.. hamsters have very rough textured lungs and kidneys, and did you know that hamsters and such creatures are cannibals?.. at least the other one was..

Stuck at home
Ah yes, Now recently i noticed a huge abundance of artwork regarding this.. homestuck.. or easier said, beforehand, "ms paint adventures". Now, i suppose, The general idea is that of a man who chooses to explain and tell a story of dramatics,emotion..drama.. pain and torment.. and.. buckets..

Anyway.. Homestuck belongs to a certain.. "Mister hussie",as far as i know, its a story of kids playing a video game that has given them the ability to convulse and mold the world to their desires, it seems they are very lucky to have found such a thing, but were they the first?.. in come in some creatures or there.. called 'trolls", yes.. this story is basically the idea of internet lingo.. feature.. and relation.. brought together in a compelling and deep animated flash comic.. Though I am not exactly a veteran fanatic of BASICALLY homestuck, I just remember trying Ms paint adventures.. long time ago, back in old computer..

so the story is.. beyond my grasp really, i have no idea.. save for some facts here and there, the "trolls" are.. a lovable bunch.. as far as it goes.. you will grow to love them.. and hate them.. some moments forcing you into a stark grim realization of just how deep you've tread in the dark waters.. Nepeta.. apparently a troll that speaks with a ":33" in every sentence.. one of the fabled "catgirls" on internet stereotypicals,in story was beaten to death by a deranged "clown" troll with juggling bowling pins, all the way going.. "honk".. I cannot help but feel a sharp sting of remorse.. it's funny really.. this is a kind of thing you'd expect to be filled with just laughs and.. giggles and just blurting out your every single godforsaken thought that dares tread past your mind.. but it's even much more.. thought out than at first blush.. Whoever you are, Mister Hussie.. Whoever you are,where ever may you be,

if God doth decides to pit us against the other in coincidental interaction.. I applaud you sir.. you have created a work of genius as far as it goes.. though.. of course.. there are some.. matters here and there, of course there's matters, always matters i may find intimidating.. as far as it goes, at least you are taking the world by storm.. creating a phobia in the process.. honk..

Perhaps there is a kind soul, who may can enlighten me on this "cheery' story.. i could use someone to talk to anyway..

There's so much artwork on website now.. some..ehh.. bold and daring.. others.. my heart is touched..
Boy i'm sad.. thank goodness people's making funny and sweet fantasies with their imagineering..

how long
can i lament
with this depressed
heart and soul

how long
can i remain
a sad autumn
ever since my grief
has shed my leaves

the entire space
of my soul
is burning in agony

how long can i
hide the flames
wanting to rise
out of this fire

how long can one suffer
the pain of hatred
of another human
a friend behaving like an enemy

with a broken heart
how much more
can i take the message
from body to soul

i believe in love
i swear by love
believe me my love

how long
like a prisoner of grief
can i beg for mercy

you know i'm not
a piece of rock or steel
but hearing my story
even water will become
as tense as a stone

if i can only recount
the story of my life
right out of my body
flames will grow
  • Listening to: My mother's Cds
  • Reading: Another book
  • Watching: Meet the medic
  • Playing: Dead rising 2
  • Eating: Durian.. i'm stuffed.. happy and stinking
  • Drinking: water.. tastes like durian!
Greetings and salutations friends,

And salaam to my muslims brothers and sisters,

Seems things are well.. up and down, another normal day,

Anyway, so recently i have only been active in the behind the scenes, stalking and skulking around watching you guys, but so unfortunately i have managed to trip myself into a religious debate, just me and a christian pal discussing the whats'what and what is in comparing and seeking truth,

the hubbub and the noisemakers during our still going-debate has inspired some videos my way, click only if you are religiously curious, regardless of religion, or.. no religion, eh..… christian woman asks Ahmad Addat a question about the veil, And who said we muslims don't have any humor?
Life is easy, let's make it sweet
it has once again come to my attention that many artists are.. still quite sad, specifically some who are unfortunately.. well.. have been.. let's just say someone here got hit by a car : and the other slammed herself into the gravels on a bicycle, but both have something in common, something to do with someone else, i guess it's safe to say both are honest accidents, but i do feel quite bad for the bicycle girl, seeing as her reason of misfortune just walked off without a care, seems they didn't even notice it either.

be a friend my friends, console and comfort those in mental/emotional or physical pain, after all, a little big of sugar makes the medicine go down,

"that movie has suffragettes inside! it's not so innocent after all!"
I'm drownin- no wait i'm burnin- wait.. drown- ghk..not radiation..

Malaysia is suffering a catalystic weather disease, it maybe rains in the morning, and then burns us later with flashes of the sun, or vice-versa, We melt in the morning and our remains are swept away by the waves, but i suppose it's one thing to have your head feel like a microwave oven and your brain like popcorn, it's another to feel sprays of glass needles and rude cold intrusions soaking deep between your cuffs and collars,

(what is big deal? i say, is not big problem really but i must say is quite funny how the artistic vomen of deviantart put it)

But i suppose standing resolute like marred statue does wonders for the eyes in both situations of hot and cold, to appreciate the warmth as it runs down your spine and to witness the gentle therapeutic splashes and ripples of glass torpedoes etching from the stars,

but i have some complaints.. humidity.. argh, it's terrible, the air is so moist, and it gets heated see, so the moisture just needs to hang unto something,anything, especially your forehead, which gives it an extra push to make sweat, you sweat cool tears from your forehead.. and it's.. it's bothersome! i'm bovvered! and the rain wets your clothes to your skin, melding it as good as any blowtorch.

i've also been more tired than most lately, very very tired and tiring, been suffering some minor head-churning too, it feels like a sharp twisting sensation in my brain, instead of panging headaches, i've been having to go visit another place for certain tribulations so it could have been the catalyst, however explaining it all to my dear father, he told me that it could also possibly be radiation, good, i'm radiated now, isn't that just whimsical?
I raise my eyebrow at you
(personal "rant".. did i say it right?)
i must say it's always rather funny really, i often intend and purposely act silly in hopes of making another person bowl over in laughter, as it was stated,

smiling is charity, i extend,"thenwhat do we call MAKING another person smile?"

so the antics of entertaining little kiddies and even other individuals with randomness hath been born,
however, i suppose all and all, that is not all me,
on one hand i try to be a pal, a laughing jolly voice, wanting to insert myself inside your brain and act like a figment of imagination,sharing your joys and fantasies,
however on the other hand.. i try to be a sobering presence, a tough as nails but softer than feathers agitator, political constructs,quotes and standard statements are my weapons of virtue,

however, alas, it seems that those accustomed to my face of imagineering has taken accustom to labeling me as a person of no standards nor care, irresponsible and devil may care,or basically like plague of nonsense, Fiddlesticks i say, i've been loyal and responsible EVEN MORE than the entire community!

and those of my serious side, may just label me as a yakking old fart, they ignore me.. and try to get away from me.. yakking old fart who's not good for anything but yakking,

but we ignore both, why? because both of them are menaces, incapable of feeling nor seeing, blind in nonsense and too stone-flinted to feel, too risky to be given responsibility, too Dull to be given opportunities..
Too weak to be given authority!

can i share something with you people? dunno how many.. "people" are there that will be reading this anyway.. except for some, and thank you for that, but i know that most of you find my pen and finger's language too hard to comprehend.. it's not your fault, it's mine.. it's mine.. oh yes.. the personal story..
back in school days, i was set up with a rather feminist teacher, seriously.. before i enrolled in a islamic school i studied in one where the daily uniform was grey pants,a strpey(vertical very thin lines) white shirt with buttons and a grey tie, personally i quite like the uniform, it's so nicely gray..
so anyway, for reasons beyond me, maybe it was a test, i see it now, Our teacher was quite biased towards the girls, can't really blame her,
on a daily schedule girls are like angels compared to the grunts of the horde (boys),
but nonetheless, so one day she implemented a system, the needle and the string or basically, if your tie is down, we sew it up at your collar, very tightly
i saw a league of boys get their tie's stitched up, some deserved it i suppose, but there were those who didn't.. ties that weren't even DOWN at all, just a mere trip of a length of a millimeter,
their ties too were sewed up,
and then she just decided to "just do it", the result? everyone got their ties stitched, everyone but the girls of course,
but that's not what bothered me,
time later, it was time to choose a monitor or the class, the law bringer so to speak,
last month it was a girl and a girl assistant,but it seemed by an act of mercy of allowing it to be in vote by the students,
i was selected this month to be that law bringer, assisted by a female though,
so thinking at long last,my time has come..
2 periods later.. (2 hours),
my teacher comes in, takes away my badge and tells me that i'm not fitted to be a monitor..
she pins the honor on someone else,
a girl.

and that's not all.. she lets the girls do all the creative work,
let's them decorate the classes,
come up with ideas,
leaving us boys idle and tongues lolling in the mud of decay,
i tried to sign up to become a part of the decorator crew,
she said to me, then give me some work that we can put on the walls,
deadline? lunch time, one hour later..
just barely came up with a paltry pathetic piece of paper,
she just took one look and said, unacceptable,

roll on the snaredrum,

everyone laughs, curtains down..

shows over..
April 29th,

<Morning> Gone to institution

Finished, went into car to make usual trip home, father looked at me with sad face, heart is broken, world shatters for moment..

My Grandmother has passed on..

<Lost track of time, was too busy being surprised>
Went straight into hospital, saw all of relatives in room, as i entered i took a long glance.. that wrapped up bundle once used to be a woman who despite her memory weakness due to old age, she would often forget names,faces.. but she only knew that she loved us all,

Remembering times, She would only remember My name.. Ali.. after a moment of explanation, her eyes would light up with recognition and affection, and as she slowly reeled in to give me a kiss on my cheek, i would slowly,carefully but no less affectionately embrace her, my arms enveloping her dear frail frame, Though i do not get to see her much.. I nonetheless felt a connection, a bond of love as strong as any, She was my grand mother, or.. as we called her, "Mama".

Went home to change, went to mosque to pray and pay final respects, as i went to greet my grandfather or "Tok yoh", Oh the pain.. I could see it in his tired,weary eyes.. his world seemed broken, shattered.. he lost his beloved, what can you say to such a suffering? He would even try his best to smile.. but his tired,old frame and body.. not as good as it was before sitting down solemnly in a wheel-chair.. I went behind a pillar to weep for his loss, i have not cried in long time.. stinging eyes, hot,wet tears like wax falling down my cheeks, no matter what i did.. as i did my best to keep a straight face.. i just couldn't bear it in that moment.. she was gone.. his face in a mask of sorrow.. wiping a sleeve across my streaked face only served to make even more of a wet mess.. brother called, i went off finally regaining composure, but sniffles and red eyes tell stories.. i had to try and not look at my grandfather, just a mere glance made my eyes water.

helped to carry her body unto the "stretcher", her face covered in white drapery..

heard a story... Mama had a dream before she was afflicted with the misfortune that has taken her away, she said her dream was that she was going to leave soon.. her end was near.. One of Aunties also had dream, she dreamt she was holding "Mama's" hand.. they walk forward into a graveyard.. but.. it was.. so bright, so many lights.. and inside.. waited my uncle.. who too passed away last year, waiting for them.

<later later>
went to graveyard, dead of night... watched people bury her with a heavy heart.. feeling sad and woozy.. said prayer.. but.. i didn't feel sad anymore.. i was happy.. i was glad.. she passed away peacefully in her sleep.. and the day.. though usually it would rain heavily like a storm.. it was clear.. it was a beautiful day.. and it was even.. friday.. she passed away peacefully on a friday.. that means.. she is spared from the questions.. she insyallah' will not have to be questioned by the angels within.. and she would be spared.. saved.. and.. waiting for us.. for when we too shall leave..

As i sit here, pondering, playing video game to try and cheer me up, hearing english wedding outside of door on television.. i am thankful.. i still have my family.. and the memories..of  a little boy named "Ali", who ran around and finally end up embraced by his beloved and loving grand mother.. who years later, in turn would be embraced by that same boy who grew up to be a man.. those memories.. they are past.. but they are never over.. they are my memories.. my sweet blessed memories.. which will reside in my heart.. forever..

Please.. do me a favor, go to family member right now and give them big hug and kiss, tell them how much they mean to you, tell them how much you love them.. tell them.. tell them.. no.. ask them.. for forgiveness..

or.. risk.. begging for it.. on their grave..

May Allah grant you peace Mama, you have lived a fulfilling life.. and.. that enough.. knowing that.. you were able to find love and strength in faith.. That enough is a fine inspiration.. but i feel so ashamed.. i love you so much.. but.. i don't even know your true name.. seems.. though we've never been together physically most.. your love itself is pure testimony to enlightening fulfillment.


flip open the papers, stand and cheer, hooray,

Malaysia is recognized as being the ninth "Most friendliest country",

Heard portal 2 was out, can't believe it, checking the game stores soon,  hopefully

got and played Capcom versus Marvel 3, a flood of good memories awash this man's soul,

but ah well, nothing much really, noticed that i don't do much, feeling rather irrationally buzzed,

thinking time and time again, all i ever talk with you my friends are about petty things such as games or.. games..

well.. what else can i talk about?

so tell me, how're things with you?
  • Reading: Spoilers and pictures to use as reference
  • Playing: Marvel vs capcom 3
  • Drinking: root beer